a week from down under!

3 done, 6 to go.

i hate finals!!!!

so i had this thought, that successful people, always dress nicely. coincidence? i think not. and so i am wearing a blazer, skirt and heels. hope it helps!

wish me luck!

how are things in gloca morra??

what's my perfect day? it might just be: sitting with my feet up, shoes off, eating a delicious sandwich on rosemary bread with munster cheese and smoked turkey, at a broadway show, with katie, box seats. hey wait, i did that today! and it was perfect. i don't know how it could have been better.

I LOVED FINIAN'S RAINBOW!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EfNR2SQs7fI

and thus ended the 19th year

I'm going to be a straight up adult.
Yeah. I'm feelin 20.
bring it on baby.
I hope I'm smarter when I'm 20.
how about 25 or bust?

Being 19 was pretty good.
I made some really great friends :)
Summer was so carefree.
Freshman year was rad.

FAREWELL DEAR CAREFREE TEEN YEARS!
you were good to me.

I'm thankful for...

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving!!!! We had perogies and nanaimo bars (those were so delish!!) and wore red and white and sang the national anthem! it was very legit. I just LOVE my little Canadian!!!! we might not get a fall break, or even the day off for Columbus day like the rest of the nation, but we can still have one heck of a holiday eh?

I used to keep a great dream journal.

I think dreams pretty much always foretell the future...
last night i had a dream where i nailed my shoes to the top of a 500 story building, and then hung there until they finally ripped through and i fell
hmmmm

kind of a big dea...

I got this crazy idea to cut off all my hair... and then... I DID IT!! I know! it's crazy.
So I asked all of my lovely and stylish roommates whom I should probably trust, their opinions on the idea, and they were definitely all opposed to it. Especially Naomi who seriously said she didn't think we could remain friends if I went through with it. (a happy end to that story... because luckily she has a forgiving heart!) But i called and made an appointment for that very night, at JC Penny. No one had an opening for that same night except them... not the very best, don't think I would recommend them, but they got the job done. Katie Breck came and hers cut too. We quickly discovered and were caught up in those tricky tricky stylists tempting voices and both agreed to get color in our hair too. COLOR? like what? like BLOND! what?????????



So now i will have to get used to it. It was fun today that people did double takes and didn't recognize me :) haha good at least for some kicks, eh?
also, side note of some interest... I went on a date tonight! it was fun. But the story of how it came about is very embarrassing... like all of my stories seem to be...?
I needed an appointment with the bishop, so I asked the secretary or whoever it is that's in charge of such things and he said he would come over later to set it up. But when he came over, I wasn't home... and my darling roommate Jill told him that I only wanted him to come over to ask me on a date. *@#7^**&!!!!!!! lol. but then when he came over later to borrow a movie he asked me on a date.. and i was excited cause i didn't know JILL told him to. so then it was kind of like a pity date cause he only asked me cause he felt obligated. but whatever. i still had fun so eat that Jill. and i realized that i really want a boyfriend. not necessarily him (but heck, not NOT him...) but somebody. I've got stylishishsish short hair now! maybe that will help ;)

movie reviews

This week I've seen a lot of movies, and just thought i'd share my fairly predictable and uninvited views with you here.

My sisters keeper: a pretty dang good movie... if you're looking to bawl your eyes out for the next two hours solid, and leave the theater emotionally drained with a pounding headache.
Really, I thought they just went a bit overboard with the "hit you over the head heart breaker" scenes, complete with built in pauses for you to let the water works start up and grab a tissue. Also, for those of us purists who've read the book... BOO! wrong ending. completely opposite in fact... so that was lameo. my experience may have been tainted by the lady next to me snuffling up a storm, but i left a little unimpressed. But hey, shoutout to some sweet looking cinematography. very pretty yo.

Star Trek: I wouldn't have exactly qualified as a trekkie before, since i'd never sat through a complete episode and knew nothing more of it than their hideously colored mustard captain uniform and of course, the elf man, Spock. After seeing this movie, though I'm sure I still don't have complete comprehension or the respect due to the original phenom of star trek,I suddenly have the desire to explore strange new worlds; to seek out new life and new civilizations; to boldly go where no man has gone before.
Seriously. I sat through the entire movie without questioning what the heck this red matter was or where it came from, how time travel worked, or how the future spock was able to simultaneously exist with his former self. The acting and action were good enough to cover up any possible little holes in the story line. Didn't hurt that captain kurk was not bad lookin...
Live long and prosper, baby!

Angles and demon: Really cool story line! I hadn't read the book, so I totally bought everything. I worshiped the crazy priest guy, suspected all the wrong guys, and was bitting my nails at every turn; all things that a good movie does. Unfortunately, I was also plugging my ears and covering my eyes for huge portions. Not such a good sign. So GORY! did the priests deaths all have to be so nasty? did everyone have to die a gruesome death? no. completely unnecessary. I might have enjoyed this movie if they'd skipped it a bit, but as it was... worst movie ever.

Little Rascals: i was too scared to sleep after seeing angles and demons, so we came home and watched little rascals. Finally! my lost childhood!!! I never have seen this movie before, yet I could quote along with lots of it because this is the world i grew up in! a world were the he men woman haters ruled and "you are the scum between my toes" came up in daily conversation. Where every little boy tried to do his hair like Alfalfa, and butch was every neighborhood bully.
Despite all my knowledge about the movie and preconceived notions about this film... I had no idea! it's the funniest movie I've ever seen. maybe. I definitely cried a few tears from laughing so hard. and then i watched it the next day and laughed just as hard. A truly brilliant movie.

Stay posted, and who knows! one day you might luck out and i'll post more reviews of movies that came out a few months, or maybe even years ago here :)

a few things that make me terribly happy

1. brigham young university.
2. late night chocolate milkshakes in my favorite cup
3. buying fresh fruit at the farmers market
4. reading the obituaries
5. listening to riders in the sky
6. running outside in rainstorms
7. wearing my retainer all day
8. going to dance concerts in sl
9. driving with my windows down and the music blasting on the freeway
10. sunburned left arm from driving with the window rolled down
11. staying up all night reading a great book
12. long nights at los hermanos
13. finding something brilliant at a thrift store
14. splashing around in the irrigation
15. not having to set an alarm
16. 89c chicken burrito from taco bell with 4 hot sauce packets
17. 11:11 wishes. even if they don't come true.
18. pulling over to pick wild sunflowers
19. phone calls and or voice messages from katie
20. thmoothie thursday
21. running into people i haven't seen in a long time
22. sitting in my spot on the bench eating delicious food at home
23. stalking peoples photo albums on facebook
24. getting letters in the mail
25. really good sunday school lessons

to michael

since you're like the only person who reads my blog,
here's to you.
HAVE A GREAT MISSION!
and i promise to write to you.
at least once.

President Monson once said:
Be of good cheer!
the future is as bright as your faith.

even if times get tough, remember the church is true.
God is on your side.

I'll be praying for you.
have the best 2 years!
Godspeed brother :)

advice from hot ben #1

yesterday at work I was all sentimental and sad that it was my last day at los... and hot ben told me about a talk he had read by sister Bateman about getting out of our comfort zones and learning from every situation we face in life. WHOA i feel like i've learned a lot from that little restaurant... so time for a new adventure. BRING IT ON SOPHOMORE YEAR!!!!
also, this guy is spiritual, sensitive, gives advice AND he's hott?!! how did i miss my chance with this guy? oh wait.. he's chatting with me on facebook right now... maybe it's not too late ;)

You say hello, I say GOODBYE!

summer is coming to an end and I feel like I'm saying goodbye to EVERYTHING this week!! and it's kind of breaking my heart.
KATIE LEAVES TOMORROW NIGHT. senior year. best of luck sister. I love you.
LAST WEEK AT LOS HERMANOS. second home. best job ever. I used to say i would do it for free. heck, i once said I would pay to work there. I will miss those people, chip crumbs and bean burritos with all my heart.
BRONZSON LEAVES TOMORROW. gonna miss that guy. I really, truly will. glad we're leaving on good terms. happy to say goodbye to the drama. watch out cambodia.
ALMOST DONE WITH JANITORING. not going to miss the mornings. goodbye 4AM. hello sleep and happiness. good people, lots of doughnuts, small discount, restrooms: farewell.
MOVING OUT. I love home more than anything! why move out? i don't know. goodbye delicious food and free laundry. you're only a drive away. bye family.
FREE TIME. I hate to, but I really must say goodbye to fun books, teen girl squad, dollar movies, late night tv, swimming in the creek, sleeping on the tramp, naps, cake, and whatever else it is I fill my days with. school time.
HEEELLLLLLLO SCHOOOOOOOL!

The Duchess

A momentous occasion indeed. The Duchess, who holds the same name as the worst movie of all time, the list of life ambitions, the goofy restaurant, and this very blog, past away and was discovered in her fish bowl yesterday, though it is suspected that she has been dead for a while.










These photos depict The Duchesses thrill filled life. She was captured and held hostage by my FHE brothers. They developed a facebook page for her and would chat with us. They tortured her.. and i think the true cause of her death was a 409 leak in the tank.

When we first brought her home, the "educated" lady at the store told us that there was a plant she would eat instead of any food. But, she really didn't eat the plant. And we didn't go get her food for weeks until our sweet brother Sam and his girl friend Megan went and got her food. Such good friends! everyone loved her!!

The Duchess was brilliant. She played dead all the time. We paniced at least once a week. She also brought the FHE family together. She lived on the kitchen table, much to the shagrin of Cosette and Erin, but they bore it painfully. Sweet kind sisters. And my FHE bros never tired of sticking things in her bowl and wacking the glass. Oh she will surely be missed!

RIP The Duchess.
July 19, 2009

In the days of Ma'am and Meow, Savage and Sir. and Lauren

Good Times, Great Oldies







Why Hello, boy!
Thmoothie Thursday
seductive dancing 101
Nerts on the ledge
Flavor of the week!
The Duchess
(list, fish, and movie)
window spying
Oven door stealing
Studying very hard
(most importantly)
Staying up LATE and being best friends!!!

HOWDY

This week has been COWBOY CAMP FOR GIRLS! One of Sally's most brilliant contributions to the Wells' Family vast myriad of traditions. I mean just the name is pure genius. Mom got us new cowboy hats which I think I have yet to take off my head, and we've been sleeping in the tent (after over an hour of trying to set that darn thing up) and eating smores and pulled pork sandwiches. You see, we actually have no idea how to be a cowboy, but throw in a little "howdy ya'll!" into every sentence and listen to the rangers in the sky and we consider it done.


But I have to skip out early on camp! because today i'm going on a ROAD TRIP to IDAHO with KATIE BRECK to see MISSY at BYU-I!!!!!!!! I'm pretty dang excited!!
We have no map, money, or plan that i know of... so it shall be a truly great adventure!


Paul, Andrew, John = still somewhere in Europe. Location unknown - i think maybe Austria?
Katie - Canada
Me - Idaho
Mary, Dad - Girls Camp
leaving only mom and sally at home! what is happening to ourfamily! as Katie would always say "we've got to bring it in for the love!!"

wonderful

SOMETIMES I CAN'T SHUT UP

...sometimes I'm really shy

Rosenlof.

A valediction forbidding mourning:

As virtuous men pass mildly away,
And whisper to their souls to go,
Whilst some of their sad friends do say,
"Now his breath goes," and some say, "No."

So let us melt, and make no noise,
No tear-floods, nor sigh-tempests move ;
'Twere profanation of our joys
To tell the laity our love.

Moving of th' earth brings harms and fears ;
Men reckon what it did, and meant ;
But trepidation of the spheres,
Though greater far, is innocent.

Dull sublunary lovers' love
—Whose soul is sense—cannot admit
Of absence, 'cause it doth remove
The thing which elemented it.

But we by a love so much refined,
That ourselves know not what it is,
Inter-assurèd of the mind,
Care less, eyes, lips and hands to miss.

Our two souls therefore, which are one,
Though I must go, endure not yet
A breach, but an expansion,
Like gold to aery thinness beat.

If they be two, they are two so
As stiff twin compasses are two ;
Thy soul, the fix'd foot, makes no show
To move, but doth, if th' other do.

And though it in the centre sit,
Yet, when the other far doth roam,
It leans, and hearkens after it,
And grows erect, as that comes home.

Such wilt thou be to me, who must,
Like th' other foot, obliquely run ;
Thy firmness makes my circle just,
And makes me end where I begun.

In my own backyard

Utah is amazing! I’ve lived here all my life yet it turns out it’s a rather foreign and lovely world to me. Katie’s friend Chelsea from Connecticut came to “see the west” this week so I took the week off work and Katie and I took her hiking, rock climbing, camping, swimming ETC and it was great.
Joseph, a great family friend, showed up at the Bean Museum on Friday and then accompanied us, or more like it fueled, our trip to Mona Lake as we loaded up the kayaks and jumped in the car.

Swinging from great heights x rickety ropes / murky scum water + Joseph, Katie, Sally Chelsea = wicked fun.

THEN we went camping. We made tinfoil dinners and found some leftover juice boxes and thew them in the car with some sleepin' bags and campin' stuff and went to cherry campground up hobble creek. Joseph and I were chief overseers of tent put up and we both had rather drastically different visions of how to get it off the ground. Mary held the flash light patiently for about an hour in the dark as we played with different configurations of poles and possible tent shapes. We thought about calling it quits a few times but couldn't really think of anything we'd rather be doing... it was a fun late night jigsaw puzzle! We finally did figure it out, but only after we realized we must be missing some poles. and so we slept on top of the tent under the amazingly humongous starry sky and got bug bites all over our bodies.
THEN in the morning we packed up camp and went rock climbing. At rock canyon. With real ropes and tiny shoes. Professional style. It was amazing! Joseph introduced us to his friend Art Van valkenburk or something like that who was a fantastic rock climber and awesome teacher. He was so patient as I proved to be the worst in our group at climbing but I did make it to the top!! wahoo! we went again Monday morning on a much harder climb and though I think Kaite pulled half my weight up as she belayed me, I once again succeeded and am really sore right now. It opened my eyes to the beauty of rock climbing! When Art did it it was amazing! I realized rock climbers embody all I want to be! My goal is to, by the end of the summer, have developed the characteristics of a true rock climber: I'll be a scrapy hippie who sleeps in, dreams too big, and wears tevas. Just who i've always wanted to be! Also, I'll be a hard a climber.
ANYWAY...after we went rock climbing we finally took Joseph home - he is a true inspiration of spontaneity! The whole family loves this guy... I'm starting to think that he may be the perfect option for marriage for my older sister Katie. However I have always somewhat been under the same impression with Mary in that he kinda looks like Abraham Lincoln - really big forehead, kinda balding...
We hiked the Y Wednesday night with Andrew, John, and his friend paco. Last time my family hiked the Y it was with Bronzson instead of Paco... it made me nostalgic. I kinda wish we were still friends. I keep thinking how this time last year he was my best friend. And now we're not even talking. Cause I told him not to talk to me ever again. I'm not really mad at him anymore, I think he was an idiot but I miss being his friend! But I think it's too late to apologize. and he never apologized to me. ugh stupid blah blah stupid stuff.
Speaking of Andrew and John, they and paul are currently either in Italy or Egypt or dead in a ditch. they're backpacking through Europe for this entire month - hitting up basically every country in Europe except Spain I think. I'm so jealous. One day I'll get out there and see the world! But I guess for now I'm quite content to live in my beautiful Utah home.

The sun'll come out!

TOMORROW!!!!!
Katie's coming home. and I can't wait! This summer is all about some sister time. Oh except all of June... cause she's going to Canada... and all the time I work... BUT other than that I want to spend every single second with her basically. I LOVE HER! and she's bringing Chelsea which is pretty exciting = #1 best roommate ever except for my own LOZZA of course - my little jalapeno :)

BET YOUR BOTTOM DOLLAR THAT TOMORROW THERE'LL BE SUN!

Nick.

last night I couldn't sleep, and that is a very strange and serious problem for me indeed! I, who can (and regularly do) sleep with the lights on, people talking, during every movie I watch, in 10-4 at Los, and yes, however shamefully, in the byu bookstore bathroom. and yet, last night I lay awake for hours.
What's the deal?
I had that same horrible feeling in my stomach that i get after I've done something really horrible. Or am about to fail a gigantic test. Or hurt somebody. Or ruined my chances at something. Or made a fool or myself big time. Or have a broken heart. Or am thinking about money. Or grades. Or the horribly frightening, vastly unknown future.
Yes, all of these actions seem to carry pretty much the same awful, twisting, knotting, crushing, feeling in the pit of my stomach, so I avoid them all to the best of my ability... along with swine flu and speeding tickets. But the thing is, I don't actually have any idea what causes the swine flu. So how can I really avoid it? And I'm a chronic speeder, so it's chance alone (ok, and maybe some crocodile tears) that has gotten me out of that one. But the others tend to happen occasionally; there's just no avoiding them forever. But this time I know exactly what was the problem, and when I finally realized it, and how INCREDIBLY silly it was, I fell right asleep. The problem? I was in a bit of a fight... with my imaginary boyfriend!!!
I've been dating this kid for several weeks now - making my summer both more entertaining, and infinitely more pathetic.
He was a new janitor this summer - disgustingly handsome with dark hair, blue eyes, the perfect smile, and strangely lively for four in the morning come to think of it...
We first talked doing handrails, and then I trained him on garbage, and we instantly became great friends. We bonded over our dislike of Steve, and my wealth of custodial folklore. He told me in return what it was like to grow up in Cali and how he was becoming a doctor so that he could bring health care to his fathers orphanages in third world countries.
He was way too good to be scrubbing toilets, but still jumped in like one of the gang. (I found out a few weeks ago that he was also incredibly rich)
We went out to breakfast the first Saturday he worked there because we had been talking about food the whole time we swept second together and were starved when we got off. He didn't have his wallet, so I paid. He insisted on taking me to dinner that night to pay me back, and our relationship has been growing quickly since then! Really, it's been great. He's the perfect boyfriend and does everything I could imagine. (ha! Imagine that!)
The problem was that it was going too fast. He is leaving for Guatemala for the next two months and was talking about marriage after he gets back. What? We've barely KNOWN each other for a month?! holy cow! so ridiculous. Plus at the mention of marriage, I told him how I'm GOING on a mission. And while he said he was fine taking it slow and dating for months and months til I was ready, he wasn't ok with waiting for a mission. Well that is equally ridiculous! If he loved me and we were meant to get married, wouldn't he freakin wait for me?!? Well this is exactly what I was stewing over last night when I realized that it doesn't matter!! He's NOT REAL! hahaahahahha I laughed so hard. I'm such a freak! I haven't gone on a date all summer. no need to get worked up about that just yet :)


Janitoring was so lonely today! I miss him. But at least no more sleepless nights :)

sad desert flowers :)

When I got home from work last night, I parked on the side of the street under all the gorgeous flowering trees, and thought to myself that would be the perfect place for a romantic first kiss. so pretty in the moon light!
seriously, these trees are why spring is my favorite season, and why I love this house with my whole heart. I used to stand outside and guard them everyday at 3 when the school kids would be walking down our street to make sure no one dared pick a beautiful blossom for their mother. Now I kinda like it when they pick them - they only last a few weeks anyway - might as well spread the beauty to as many little kids as possible :) plus, I really was scaring the kids.
And yes, I did say first kiss. what the heck?
lets not talk about it.
a few boys may have tried to plant one on me in the past but I always shut them down... well never again! I've realized you just can't have such high standards. well, I now can proudly say: I have NO standards! I will kiss any boy on two feet. But the flowers are falling fast! I might have to wait until next year. Drat.
But good news is: word at los is that they're going to only be hiring boys for summer. Surely there will be SOMEONE there? a single boy on two feet that notices me? that's all I'm askin!! my plan you ask? Be a shameless flirt :P

Dear Lauren,

You said you would read my blog this summer. So this is a test to see if you'll follow through. The moment you see this, write these codewords on my wall on facebook: "I have a crush on Scott Business Nash!" and then I'll know!
I MISS YOU ALREADY!
and it's only been a week.
You're still in UTAH
and I sort of wish I was there too...
But actually I LOVE NEW YORK!
Don't forget to call me in July. I'll be freakin hecka mad if I find out you were 15 minutes away and didn't even bother to call!
I LOVE YOUR LITTLE STINKIN GUTS LOZZA!
your roommate for life,
Mia

ps I just remembered I never did get around to cutting your hair while you slept! curses.

Periodicals

I'm sitting in the periodical of the library. Because it's finals week, the library is open for extended hours until 2am. This is the time when procrastinator really unite! it's bizarre:
When you ride in a tiny 8x8 elevator squished next to strangers, you don't get off cheering and smiling at each other. No sense of comradory or fellowship develops at all.
You can stand in line at subway by someone for 20 minutes without even acknowledging that they're there.
But when you stay at the library until closing time, something changes. That glass wall you put up to keep people out shatters. The guy across the room is suddenly one of your best friends.
By around 12, the once jam-packed periodicals are clearing out, with some empty tables. by one, only a handful of the truly stalwart remain. The janitors start vacuming under your seat at about 1:30 and the tension in the room doubles. The clicking keyboards get louder both to compete with the noisy vacumes, and as everyone tries to finish up that paper and sprint to the finish line of the long race. at 1:50 they make their consistently friendly reminder that you must now leave the building or be arrested and fined. and then... they start the music.
Here's where the amazing change really takes place. all the tension completely dissipates. friendly greetings are exchanged along with pats on the back and high fives:
"..what you been working on?..." or, "...yeah these finals are killing me too.."
We form a support group for each other! that kid in the yellow baseball cap, kiddy corner my table cares that I do well on this test tomorrow. I believe it. I know he's got my back ..along with the creepy asian guy a few tables behind him.
It's this sense of fellowship and love that sets us apart and makes this elite little community. that, and our similar work ethic, and shared characteristic of procrastination...
Either way, I'm proud to be here.


"Mia (Colin) just got a new best friend. His name is FINALS."

CHEAAAP labor.

Tonight was the kind of night where I earned soo little at my lovely resturant/part time prison, that I stole the Strother's bookkeeping and tax pen from my apron pocket just to make me feel like my time spent there was possibly worth it. I mean, though they may only pay me freakin $2.15 an hour, they do, unbeknownst to the tightwad managers, throw in that occasional pen bonus. oh yaaaaaaah

also, a plug for Strother's bookkeeping and tax - if the pen is any indication of business quality and service, I would definitely trust my business to them. The pen is a fine inker.

also dos, what is it about prom dresses? a girl puts one on, and suddenly she's some horrible diva who needs lemon in her water and rolls her eyes at me? all the while the fine gent on her arm that she's flirting up a disgraceful storm with fishes around in his rich kid suit to find a couple quarters to tip me.

All i can say is the man I'm going to marry is going to know how to tip!!!!

8th best holiday - right after pioneer day I think? ya maybe.

So yesterday was April Fools Day. It is definitely not one of my favorite holidays. How many facebook statuses said "...is engaged!" or how many fake relationships popped up on my newsfeed. Really people? Not that clever! But I was thinking: How bizare if someone really did get engaged you know? Who would believe them? ha. that would be the worst. I would say no if someone proposed to me on april fools day - because i wouldn't want to have that every year. But this whole thought process made me remember last year april fools day - I broke my foot the day before, and so I came to school hobbling around. Of course no one believed me. "Oh april fools eh?" NO! they hadn't given me a cast yet, and I didn't have crutches, so it really didn't seem believable at all. Everyone made fun of me for just wearing a sock and insisting on stumbling around. But I wasn't just incredibly uncreative in my festive pranking, it was legit!
This year, first year out of home, living the crazy dorms, things got a little out of hand. Namely: someone stole The Duchess. that is going WAY TOO FAR! haha. my roommies went and destroyed my FHE brothers house i think - I was not involved in anyway, shape, or form. The fish and I were both completely innocent bystanders! So when The Duchess mysteriously disappeared, replaced by random signs and terrifying photos on facebook, we immediately assumed it was them. Colin and Spence mainly. But the culprit turned out to be...

JACOB NEWMAN!!

How bizarre!! Our friendly thai thai thai, brownie baking, hand signing, FHE father. But after some snooping, negotiations and matress stealing, she was safely returned and aside from the green milk, no lasting harm done.

glad it only comes once a year.

And might I add, eat milkshakes daily and make quiche at midnight.

How to be an artist:
Stay loose. learn to watch snails.
plant impossible gardens. invite
someone dangerous to tea. Make
little signs that say yes! and post
them all over your house. make friends
with freedom and uncertainty. Look forward
to dreams. cry during movies. swing
as high as you can on a swingset,
by moonlight. cultivate moods. refuse
to "be responsible." Do it for love.
Take lots of naps. Give money away.
Do it now. The money will follow.
Believe in magic. Laugh a lot.
Celebrate every gorgeous moment.
Take moonbaths. Have wild
imaginings, transformative dreams,
and perfect calm. Draw on the walls.
read everyday. Imagine yourself
magic. Giggle with children. Listen
to old people. Open up. Dive in. Be free.
Bless yourself. Drive away fear.
Play with everything. Entertain
your inner child. You are innocent.
Build a fort with blankets. Get wet.
Hug trees.
Write love letters.

This side of paradise

Last night epitomized freshman year to me:

I went on a date with a really great guy
BUT
he has his mission call
AND
he doesn't have a car
SO
I drove
AND
we went to wendys.

seriously it was really fun though. I love being a freshman :)

I'd be swimmin with the fishes

So it's Valentines Day, and I awoke to this shimmery fish giving me the one eyed stare as if to gloat in the misery that this day, and all it stands for, evokes in my heart. Not that I don't like boys, or love, or loving boys! because those just so happen to be a few of my favorite things. But I simply haven't had much success in said field during my life and valentines day is a keen reminder. Not that constant canoodlers in the lobby don't regularly do the job quite nicely, but I feel it more acutely as I'm gagging over dinner plans and bouquets floating around. But why would my darling roommate Lauren give me a Fish Valentine? oh yes to really rub it in by reminding me of the worst romantic experience of my life. Here is the story:
I'm a happy- go- lucky senior, young and blissfully unaware of that little thing called love. It's a friday afternoon just like any other as far as I'm aware, when I waltz into the orchestra room for band and notice my darling asian son austin teetering towards me like an anxious toddler with a ridiculous look on his face, even more so than the usual gittyness sported by sophomores everywhere. His delight doubled when he found that he was be the first to break the news to me that Spencer, the scrawny clarinet that sat behind us, who focused so hard on his playing that his eyes welled up and his fingers and cheeks turned blue, was planning on asking me to prom. The next hour of my life dragged on, with every squeak from the clarinets behind us like a dagger to my heart. I tried to shake the experience by taking my time talking with friends in the hallways who, after teasing me, cheerfully reassured me that it was an insane rumor that would never be fulfilled. When I finally made home however, to my great horror my sophomore brother, John, seemed to be the spittin image of austin as he rushed out to greet me and say that I needed to go up to my bedroom. In Utah, as if the entire formal dance process wasn't horrible enough, we throw on extravagant asking which then must be returned by an equally embarrassing display to answer. I bounded up the stairs, yelling at John demanding he tell me all he knew, threw open my bedroom door, john on my heels, and to my absolute horror saw in my bed, gigantic dead fish. multiple. dead fish. in my bed.
It gets worse.
In one of the bags (they were, thankfully in ziplocks - which don't really keep out the smell by the way.) there was a paper that said "I'd be swimmin with the fishes if you didn't go to prom with me. -Spencer" NO WAY! Think back - Saved by the Bell - Screech - that is Spencer to a Tee, which I try to explain to John. I also told him how I have never heard this boy say a cohesive sentence and that I firmly believe he is completely socially unaware and should never leave his house, and that I do not think I can bring myself to go with him. John seems to be an extremely good listener at this point, letting me rant for a good five minutes before I finish, but then he really shocked me by simply replying "and come on out Spencer!" No. NO! I thought he was joking for a split second but the blood drained immediately from my face as my closet door swings open and there is spencer. Why didn't John stop me? why didn't spencer come out? WHY was he hiding in my closet and why on earth did he ask me to prom!? I squeak out "what a surprise!" somehow hoping that he hadn't heard my shouts that were probably audible across the street. He sheepishly replied "You don't have to go with me I guess..." but I say "I'd love to!" Ill answer you for real in a couple days. I'm on my way to dance right now. See you later!" and then I ran out of my house and went to dance, 45 minutes early without any dance clothes - the least of my problems.
And so I went to prom with Spencer. And yes, it was the most awkward experience of my entire life, but how could it have been otherwise with a start like that?

and so I shall put this fish on the back of my shelf and continue to try to block this terribly painful memory from my mind

ready, set, go.

"We're going to need three things:
1. A fondue pot
2. A curling Iron
3. And some gumption. /gum - good breath is going to be imperative here."

"oooh! are you canoodling? may I join you??"

Stanley, Phyllis, Kevin.

“What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany’s at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier. It’s priceless. As I’m taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It’s her father’s business. She’s Tiffany. I say ‘no’. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don’t trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son and he’s the chief of police. – This is where the story gets interesting. – I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadéro. She’s been waiting for me all these years. She’s never taken another lover. I don’t care. I don’t show up. I go to Berlin. That’s where I stash the chandelier.”

- Dwight K. Schrute

seance

a sad desert flower

planted in a moonlit prism

looking towards the new horizon

failing to see the shackles

are illusion

as the mushrooms

in the garden

go untended

B & T '96

Life is short - you can rest when you're dead

I stared on in disbelief at the line ahead of me, but my growling stomach and the smell of banana peppers mingling roast beef wafting through the air kept me frozen where I stood. As I slid my backpack off my shoulder and settled in for a long, dull wait, the person in front of me turned around and changed those plans, along with the rest of my life, forever.
It asked me how I was doing in a gruff voice accompanied by a harsh spray of spit and a stench of onions and sweat. I don't mean to be rude by referring to this person as "it," but I honestly don't know if it was a man or woman. It's body shape was basically round so as to obscure any hints as to its gender, and the sparse whiskers on it's face could have gone either way.
I replied a sharp "fine" and turned my nose away in disgust, not wanting to strike up a conversation and be seen with it while standing in the cougar eat - a prime mingling location. my shortness however did not deter her as she said that he was doing "better..." Did I want to know? He was doing shifty eyes to make it clear that there was a story to that response, and scooching my backpack a few inches down the line, I realized that the wait would still be a while and my curiosity got the better of me as I asked the fateful "better than...?" She snapped up the bait and took off running with this story:
-You know what happened to Joseph Smith? Well that's the same thing as happened to me last night.
- you...(saw god?) what do you mean?
- first half. not the second half. Mists of darkness, evil spirits, Satan was THERE!
...
...
-wow sounds intense. (looking around - are you guys all getting this?!?!)
- I called the bishop, but he said it was too late to talk. It was about 3 in the morning... but I got a priesthood blessing. and another one this morning. which is the only reason I'm standing here alive now. As soon as i get my sandwich, I'm headin over to have an official intervention with the bishop. And this all goes to show that you can't let your guard down for an instant. I had only stopped listening to church music for about 10 minutes before it seized me.
(i notice the earphone tangled through his hair - she's not making that mistake again.)
We had just reached the counter and he turned to me and said
- but sandwich first. And trust me, I know my sandwiches.
So I say to the lady:
- I'll have what she's having. I mean He's having... umm.. (glanced over, but I don't think it noticed. luckily. No recovering from a gender mixup.)
Well of course it ordered a foot long toasted spicy italian with extra onions as the only vegitable. Hense the breath... disgust. but the story and entertainment ended up being far more valuable to me than the food would have been anyway.
...and this all goes to show - never a dull day at the Y!

this is my life

There is a part of me that remains untouched. It is free from strain of schedule conflicts, finances, and broken shoelaces. Most of the time I share it with people I love, but sometimes I keep it to myself and dance.
- Catherine, from I am Beautiful